Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My parents are racist and disowned me when I married my Maori husband a few years ago. They flatly refused to come to our Wedding and now years later they have made contact and told me I can visit but on the condition I don’t  bring my husband or children.
My husband is very close to his family, they have made me so welcome so I have a huge family now.
My husband says he doesn’t mind not being given an invite and says if I want to go I should. He is the kindest man I know.
I really don’t want to reconnect with them but am I being selfish?
What would you do?


Aunty S responds

No my dear you are not being selfish and what a treasure you have in your husband.
How about sending a wee note to them, “Thanks for the invite but sadly must decline.  But should you in the future choose to invite all of my family we just may visit. Look forward to hearing from you”
This leaves the door open.
Keep me posted.

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