Dear Aunty S

I recently found out my father isn’t my father and my mother refuses to tell me who my real father is so my father is helping me even though he is devastated that a friend of his was the one who told me when he was drunk at a recent Funeral we all attended. 
Apparently it is common knowledge that I am not my father’s biological child, with me being the only one who didn’t know.
My father showed me photos taken at the time I was conceived and I am a mirror image of one of his mates.
My mother has never admitted to my father that this man is my biological father but it is blatantly obvious.
My father has been the best father I could have wished for and he is happy to make contact with him is I can meet him but I really don’t want this as he is nothing to me.

He had an affair with my mother and then went overseas when she got pregnant.
All I actually want from this man is the family medical history.
I know where his mother lives and apparently she is a very nice woman so I am thinking of writing to him and getting his her to forward it.
If I visit her she will see the striking resemblance  so my father has offered to hand deliver it.
I checked him out on Facebook and I really didn’t like what I saw so this confirmed my decision not to meet him.
Am I approaching this in the right way?

Aunty S responds

What an amazing young man you are!
You have a well thought out plan but there is a Plan B that you may like to consider.
Your father could phone your biological grandmother and ask for his address under the guise of wanting to catch up with her son as he will be in part of the world in a month’s time.
If by some chance your biological father decides not to speak/correspond with you, I have a Plan B to find out his family medical history which I will reveal should you get back in contact.
I wish you all the luck in the world.