Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My Partner has a ‘Man Cave’ and spends his evenings in it, only coming out when it’s time for bed.
This has been going on for over a year and I am sick of it.
He says I am whining and he will do what he likes.  I found the key to it by accident so I went for a look.
Porn movies and dozens of empty and full bottles of whiskey in a cupboard.
He has always been selfish but has gone too far this time.
I work longer hours than him for us to survive and I am livid he is wasting his money on whiskey.
No wonder he never has enough money to give me for the Mortgage.
If I am honest he has never been a father to our kids, weekends are his sports and the pub.
I have never moaned because I thought he needed this but now I look at our kids who have no respect for him and I haven’t actually seen them interact with him for over a year ever since he built his Man Cave.
How do I make him realise he is losing the kids before it’s too late?

Aunty S responds

He is a grown man my dear, it was his choice to build a “Man Cave’ to get away from you and the kids.
I think this speaks volumes.
If you confront him you must be emotionally prepared for anything.
From the added information you gave, you are doing a wonderful job of parenting and you have two well adjusted kids so well done.
The fact your kids are not upset that their father is distant is a good thing.
You can take a horse to water but you can’t make him drink so be prepared for a negative response when you talk to him.
He may surprise you and say “I agree honey, I need to make an effort”
Or he may just continue being a disinterested Dad.
Get back to me anytime my dear.
Keep being the best Mum in the World.


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