Ask Aunty S

Ask Aunty S

Dear Aunty S

My son has been married for over ten years and they still haven’t given me any grandchildren and I’ve just started to get worried as my son recently told me she doesn’t want children and he’s known from early on in their marriage but believes she will change her mind. I want to talk to her but my son says I can’t.

Do you think she’ll change her mind?

Aunty S responds

I think you need to take a huge step backwards and never mention grandchildren again as it really isn’t any of your business.

Join more groups, buy a fluffy little dog or babysit a friend’s obnoxious grandchild, but please my darling; don’t interfere.

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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My Doctor put me on Prozac and sleeping pills the day after my husband died and now I feel I have lost control of my life.

I have been reading about grief and now realize what I am experiencing is a normal part of grief and as I never suffered from depression before his death I wonder why he was so keen to put me on pills because I am starting to realize all I was displaying was signs of shock and grief.

Should I still be sad after a year and what do you think of tranquillizers?

I have tried to wean myself off the Prozac but to no avail as I get anxiety attacks which I’ve never experienced in my life before.

I have started taking the sleeping pills every third night and I am actually sleeping better.

What is your opinion?


Aunty S responds:

Of course, my darling, it’s normal to feel sad a year down the track.

There is a huge difference between grief and depression.

Yes, some who grieve end up terribly depressed because loneliness takes over and sometimes those around them are insensitive to their needs.

And often financial hardship destroys the way of life they have become accustomed too hence depression sets in.

But you were handed these drugs the day after his death!!!

Give me a break!

You’d never had a depression day in your life and he hands them to you!

I could understand if you were prone to depression but you weren’t!!

Go back to your Doctor, with a trusted friend by your side, and tell him you want to come off Prozac and you require assistance.

Furthermore tell him how you are already weaning yourself off the sleeping pills and sleeping better when off them.

Talking, crying, reminiscing, are all part of the grieving process; as well as sadness, anger, fear and loneliness.

Grief is a long journey.

It is coming up three years since my husband died and there are still moments of deep sadness I have to contend with.

This is the price we pay for having happiness taken away prematurely.

Of course there should be a rule that a husband and a wife should die at a very old age together so as not to leave the other behind, but sadly this isn’t the case.

The info I have sent you on grief is the material I found the most helpful in coping with all stages of grief.

Keep me posted my dear.

I am only a click away.

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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My husband has taken a position in a ghastly small town without telling me and I don’t want to sell up and move as I could think of nothing worse than living in the country as I am a city girl.
I have lived in this house for twelve years and my gardens are exquisite as gardening is my second love after my family.

He says he is tired of working long hours to pay off our mortgages and wants to spend more time with the children and me.

He didn’t expect my negative reaction as he thought I’d be happy as our financial situation especially would drastically improve so now he is sad whilst I am angry.

I agree things have to change but not as drastic as moving us to the country.

Am I being unreasonable?


Aunty S responds

I am a country girl and could think of nothing worse than living in a city or a small town!

How about a compromise?

As your city home is a garden paradise, I checked out this small town, which by the way isn’t ghastly, and it so happens that there is a gorgeous house for sale set in a fantastic garden setting on the outskirts and it comes with a pool and a spa. The local school has an excellent reputation and is only a walk away.

You will be mortgage free and think of how this factor will impact positively on your lives.

I have sent you the details of the house.


Of course your husband should have told you how much he desperately wanted to escape the ‘mortgage drowning trap’ but he didn’t and now you must keep positive and show your kids you are willing to adapt to the changes that have been thrust upon you all.

Remember always his intentions were admirable as all he wanted was more family time and the mortgage noose around his neck, loosened.

You are a lucky girl my darling so count your blessings.

Hug him tight and reassure him that everything will be okay.

We are the stronger sex my dear.

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