Dear Aunty S

My neighbour has a kune kune pig, which is always visiting me and is systemically destroying my gardens.

Her owner refuses to house her properly and laughs every time I ring him to come and get her.  He always makes me wait for hours which means I have to stand over it until he arrives.

I’m at the end of my tether but I don’t want to fall out with the neighbour because I really like his wife.

What can I do?

Aunty S responds

To avoid falling out with your neighbour, tell your strapping sons to build a pig strong pen in the paddock adjacent your property and when the pig arrives, have your sons herd the beast into the pen.

Ensure there is a water trough inside and biff some scraps at her when she is settled.

I’m sure the neighbour will be ringing asking if you’ve seen his pig after a while or you could ring the wife and ask her to pass on a message to him saying ‘piggie is safe so don’t worry and is ready for pickup’.

If the neighbour plays games and doesn’t turn up for days, it just won’t matter as the pig can do no more damage.

Also get your sons to help tidy up your gardens.

Time they helped out their Mum.

Take good care of yourself.