Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

I have found my Birth Mother after searching for her over a two year period.

Now that I’ve found her, I really don’t like her.

She is horrible.  She had eight kids to four different fathers and gave four  up and has no idea who my father is.   She kept enough kids to live off a Benefit.

She is now wanting to visit me and I am so embarrassed because she has tattoos up her arms and legs and dresses like a teenager.

I wish I never went looking for her and am so angry with myself.

My husband and children are so supportive and as they have met her, they know the pain I’m in.

How do I disentangle her from our lives?


Aunty S responds

Oh my dear, how very sad for you.

As there is distance between you and your birth mother, and it would be your money funding her visit, the answer is quite simple, don’t buy the ticket.

Tell her it was good to meet her but feel there is no way a relationship can develop as you are two entirely different people.

Wish her well and then hang up.   Short and sweet.

On a bright note, if your birth mother hadn’t adopted you out, your life would have been hell on earth so focus on that and all of the wonderful memories of  your childhood with such a loving family as this will help ease the pain of finding such a dreadful woman and trust me I know these women exist.

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