Monthly Archives: March 2015

More on Bullying 3 – 19 March

Some common characteristics that most bullies share:

A bully has a need to control and dominate others

A bully has an extremely jealous personality

A bully is a compulsive liar

A bully lacks empathy but is able to mimic it when trying to manipulate someone

A bully is quick tempered, impulsive and prone to mood swings

A bully is highly manipulative

A bully enjoys spreading lies, rumours, hurtful gossip or innuendo

A bully thrives on yelling, name-calling, mocking, insulting or ridiculing

A bully will use physical gestures to intimidate or threaten

A bully uses aggressive posturing

A bully disguises true intentions and emotions

A bully intimidates through verbal aggression

A bully in a work place situation tend to undermine all other   workers to look good in the eyes of management

A bully intentionally intimidates their target

A bully will goad their target/victim

A bully has the need to feel powerful and in control

A bully has the need for attention.

A bully has the need to feel superior

A bully will use social media to spread their lies

A bully is quick to feel anger and aggression

A bully enjoys inflicting pain and suffering

A bully fears being exposed publicly

A bully will bluster when caught out on a lie but will recover quickly

A female bully is always vain and shallow


Sadly there are many more characteristics but this is enough for now.

Never underestimate the power of a bully and never assume their victims are weak as this is wrong.

By the time a victim has found out what is going on behind their back in the public arena, the bullying campaign is well under way.

It’s very common the first they know of it, is by one of the bully’s bystanders/followers, hissing something at them.

A bully must isolate their victim quickly; before they discover what’s going on; to gain the upper hand.

It is a frightening situation to be in whether you are twenty or sixty.

The shock that someone can lie about you is quite soul destroying but once you understand the ‘working mind of a bully’ it is much easier to deal with.

Next time I will talk about ways to combat a bully.

rose border

More on Bullying – 18 March

Bullying is a form of abuse.

The bully’s main aim is to intimidate, humiliate and discredit their target/victim.

Bullies rely on character assassination, outright lies, rumours and innuendo to isolate and destroy their target/victim’s credibility and this is where the bystanders/followers fit into their game plan.

Bullies must have followers, so they deliberately cultivate people in their community who, in their eyes, are easy to manipulate. Folk who will readily accept what is said with out question; there is a prerequisite though; they must have the ability to gossip and lie.

The bully then sits back and gains gratification from seeing them do some of his dirty work.

The anger of a bully is very apparent when they try and manipulate the wrong person; who challenges what they say. Panic sets in. They will bluster even to the extent of having tears well up, to try and sway the doubter. They must preserve their image no matter what.

Being exposed is what they fear the most and will often add onto the original lie to shock folk.


Bullies are opportunists; they tend to prey on people who they perceive as a threat, dislike, or are jealous of.

Bullies also target people who are popular, hard working and well liked. The more well liked and competent they are, the bigger the threat they perceive them to be.

Bullies also target people with differences from themselves, especially those who have high morals and integrity as a bully has neither of these attributes.

Bullies are often racist and have a dislike for the handicapped members of society even though they will, in the public arena, pretend they are fine with them. Behind closed doors it’s a different matter entirely.

More on the traits of a bully next time.



rose border

17 March – Bullying

I know I sound like a stuck record but every parent must read “The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso at some stage during their child’s formative years.

Hopefully your child will never be bullied but if they are, you will be prepared.


Now onto what I’ve been involved in over the past year; adult bullying.

After I broached the subject a year ago my inbox has been inundated ever since, with emails from folk, ordinary folk like you and I, who have been bullied in the family, workplace, neighbourhood and socially.

I have replied to every one personally and as time permits I will edit and post some of them.


Adult bullying is very much an unspoken subject because most folk believe it is a childhood problem and when it happens to them they are humiliated and embarrassed.

More on this later.



Food for Thought


Adult Bullies


This morning our friend Roy died at the grand old age of 95 years. Way too soon for me. We had agreed on 105!

What a wonderful friend he was!

Sam and Ruby have grown up with his words of wisdom, stories of his childhood, his quick mind and his gift of repartee.

A nickname we had for him was “Firecracker Fred” aptly named after a minor fire that occurred in his home. His witty account of how it came about had us in hysterics!!!

He had a solution to our ‘bullying’ problem. So blunt, so funny, so illegal! All said tongue in cheek or was it! Oh how we loved this man and we will miss him dreadfully.

Roy and Mum


rose border



10427682_10153101139838766_3052938731189921290_n 10675767_3846487772122180_7320995845277246774_n

10891769_3846800785424212_2125177474892327253_n 10891454_3847340892036868_222321576511115837_n

rose border


Aunty Belle decided to play with one of our computers today!!!! Even though she has her own!!!!

Sam caught her with a most guilty look on her face and saw the page she was on.. Yes…. his Facebook. Ahh ahh ahh

He said the blood drained from his face as he tried to work out what she had done!!

The first port of call was to make sure “he” hadn’t liked any “Wiggles” related pages!!! So far, so good!

And to anyone who has been unfriended or has received any kind of strange message or request, please disregard. It appears she has been on his Facebook and the Hobbs Family Partnership Facebook as well.

Apologies to everyone affected.