Grief
Grief is a horrific journey, not just for family but for friends as well.
I have a dear friend who, within weeks of Alex dying, simply couldn’t face visiting or phoning anymore.
She can now cope with emailing and is a reader of both my blog and Sam’s but visiting is still out of the question.
I asked her via email recently as to whether she would mind me mentioning her situation on my blog and she said “Please do it as it may assist another person and they will not feel so alone as I did in the early stages.”
She is a wonderful kind compassionate woman who has a loving husband and family but every time she saw us after Alex’s death she feared something would happen to one of her family members.
The fear she feels is real.
She had a grieving period of about two months for Alex as did her husband and children but sadly this terrible fear set in when the grieving stopped.
Thankfully this fear doesn’t enter into her every day living.
Her Doctor is such a sensible chap.
As he said he could drug her but what would be the point as she is coping fine; it’s only when she is confronted with the thought of visiting or phoning us that the tearful fear sets in.
We love her to bits and we always will; we certainly aren’t offended by her lack of contact as we understand the enormity and complexity of the issue.
When the time is right she will be back in our lives playing a major role.
Alex’s death has affected us all in different ways and changed our lives forever.
2 Responses to Grief
For me, it has been wonderful to see how the this family has helped each other in the middle of such a tragedy. Sam has become a man and a real credit to his dad, Alex. This friend, I’m sure, will find it easier to cope with her fears when she can see for herself how things are humming along in the orchard and in your home. Grief affects us in so many different ways. Over time, we find peace and the raw grief loses it painful sharpness.
Ruth
I had a similar experience when my brother in law died.
I feared something would happen to my husband or children and I was unable to visit my sister. The fear of my going through what she had to endure was frightening.
It took me over twelve months before the fear of losing my family left me.
Now we are back to normal day to day life, family quarrels and all that a family entails and visiting my sister. Thankfully she had great friends to support her through her rough time as I just couldn’t.