Cyber-bullying case 2

Emails have been piling up in my inbox over the past week from folk who are or have been cyber-bullied so I will write further on this subject.

 

First off, I must reiterate.

Don’t isolate yourself as this is what a bully wants you to do.

There are some occasions where the bully has total control so you will be alone through no fault of your own.

In this case phone relatives or friends who live further afield and tell them what you are going through.

Remember don’t be embarrassed as to your plight.

This is not your shame.

You need folk to validate how you feel.

 

One man told me of how his work colleague wanted his job so started both a cyber and social bullying campaign against him, dragging his wife into the mix as well.

He thought it was best to ignore, hoping it would die down, but of course the bully took this as a sign of weakness so he upped the intensity of the attack.

As they lived in a small town and with many of their friends believing what was said/written they felt alone and betrayed.

Not one friend came to them to ask for their version of events.

The bully had total control.

The ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ on the bully’s Facebook page were from friends they had known all their lives.

These foolish people had no idea they were part of a well-orchestrated campaign to drive a man out of his job so the bully would be promoted which is exactly what happened.

In the end he simply couldn’t stand the cruelness any longer so they sold and moved many miles away.

 

A few months later the bully was found out and was fired.

This was cold comfort for this man as he was well and truly worn out mentally from the whole saga.

He has a minimal chance of ever finding work again as he is close to my age and to make matters worse, the job he was bullied out of, had been his job since leaving school, which makes it ever so sad.

There are so many stories I could relay but I think you get the picture.

A victim is often asked,

“What have you done to make them hate you?”

In response to this question I ask you to remember back to your school days.

What did you do to make the school bully throw your lunch in the bin?

What did you do to make the school bully tell you how fat and ugly you were?

What did you do to make the school bully punch you?

What did you do to make the school bully tell lies about you?

What did you do to make the school bully rip your towel off you in the changing shed after a swimming lesson so as to humiliate you in front of your classmates?

 

The answer of course is “nothing”.

And never forget; a bully is a sad and weak individual who feels empowered when disempowering someone else.

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3 Responses to Cyber-bullying case 2

  • D:

    Hi Sandra
    Reading about this man and your own case has made me feel not so alone.
    I am being bullied by a relative who wants a lot of my belongings.
    I’ve told him all my belongs goes to my sons but he won’t listen and rings and visits and is wearing me down. He tells me it’s between him and me and for me not to tell my sons.

    • sandra:

      Please contact your sons and tell them what is going on.
      Mate you are too old to fight this battle alone and there is no shame in asking for help.
      Remember a bully will always try to isolate you which is exactly what he’s doing.
      Keep in touch.
      Sandra

  • G:

    Sandra
    I was bullied by a neighbour when I moved into a small farming area. Apparently the neighbour thought he would get my land for next to nothing as he had been friends with the elderly neighbour but when he died the son sold it to me as I offered the most for it.
    The neighbour has lied about me and accused me of doing dreadful things.
    The other neighbours don’t speak to me and I’m ostracized when I go to the local pub.
    I will not be run out but I’m getting desperate as my wife wants us to sell up.
    I wish I had taped him as it would show what is happening.
    Can you email me as to how I go about all this and what to buy.
    Thanks