As my 59th birthday is creeping up on me I am reminded of the time when my dear friend Sheryl and I were in our twenties and we were talking about how we would feel when we reached the old age of 40!
How perceptions of old age change as one ventures through the time spectrum.
Four years ago Sheryl died very suddenly and even now I think of her everyday and wish she was here so we could laugh and cry together as we did all those years ago.
Here is a photo of Sheryl.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Isn’t she gorgeous even though this photo was taken when she was over 40!

I received an email a few weeks ago from a very distressed woman who asked if I could assist her in working out exactly what she was allergic to as she believed her recent headaches were diet related.
Prior to her even giving diet a thought, her GP convinced her she must have something sinister and insisted she see a specialist in the area he believed was relevant to her symptoms.

Well to cut a short story even shorter; it was the new brand of coffee she was using!
She had decided to go for the more expensive brand thinking it would be better for her than good old Greggs!

It was a simple solution but she still visited the Specialist basically to tell him she was cured!
He agreed totally.

How many people go through invasive tests only to find out that it is simply diet related??
Obviously there are those who are not so lucky.

Grief is a horrific journey, not just for family but for friends as well.

I have a dear friend who, within weeks of Alex dying, simply couldn’t face visiting or phoning anymore. 

She can now cope with emailing and is a reader of both my blog and Sam’s but visiting is still out of the question.

I asked her via email recently as to whether she would mind me mentioning her situation on my blog and she said  “Please do it as it may assist another person and they will not feel so alone as I did in the early stages.”

She is a wonderful kind compassionate woman who has a loving husband and family but every time she saw us after Alex’s death she feared something would happen to one of her family members.

The fear she feels is real.

She had a grieving period of about two months for Alex as did her husband and children but sadly this terrible fear set in when the grieving stopped.

Thankfully this fear doesn’t enter into her every day living.

Her Doctor is such a sensible chap. 

As he said he could drug her but what would be the point as she is coping fine; it’s only when she is confronted with the thought of visiting or phoning us that the tearful fear sets in.

We love her to bits and we always will; we certainly aren’t offended by her lack of contact as we understand the enormity and complexity of the issue.

When the time is right she will be back in our lives playing a major role.

Alex’s death has affected us all in different ways and changed our lives forever.

“There is no value judgement

more important to man –

no factor more decisive in

his psychological development

and motivation – than the estimate

he passes on himself.”