Ask Aunty S

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My daughter is addicted to Facebook and it is ruining her life and refuses to holiday with us this year as she will have no coverage for her smart phone. She wants her grandparents to babysit her in our home so she has access to both her phone and computer.
She is only thirteen so we can’t leave her home alone so I think the grandparents is a good compromise.

What do you think?

 

Aunty S responds

She is thirteen and dictating to you!!!

Oh give me a break.

Stop and listen to how this sounds.

Is she mentally unwell or is she just a self-indulged little madam.

If she is mentally unwell, talk to her Doctor about her behaviour and engage a psychologist quickly.

If she is the latter, tell her she is either coming with you or staying with her grandparents in their own home minus her smart phone.

Time to stop indulging this child.

Over and out.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My sister and I fight all the time and always make up but not this time.

She won’t speak to me and I am really worried we’ve gone too far this time.

Our kids are suffering as they have always been good friends and now they ignore each other at school and Church, which is heart-breaking, as they have always been the best of friends as well as being cousins.

What can I do to repair the damage?

 

Aunty S responds

Oh my darling girl, don’t let another day go by without making up.

Quick, race to the local Bakery and buy a huge cake and race to the Florist for a huge bunch of flowers and arrive at her doorstep and beg her forgiveness. It just doesn’t matter who was in the wrong. At the end of the day, nothing was done with sinister intent!

She is your sister and you and your kids love her and her family.

If tonight a bus hit her, how would you feel?

Of course, devastated; it goes without saying.

I don’t have a sister but I have a dear friend who helped us through very dark days three years ago and her name is Katrina. We never fight and if we were silly enough to do so, I would throw myself at her feet to beg her forgiveness because life is so very short and I love her.

Treasure those you love my darling.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My son drinks and drives just like his father and I am exhausted in trying to stop them.

It is coming up to Xmas, which means they both will be attending more parties so they’ll be way out of control.
Both their vehicles have dents from previous minor crashes, which they laugh about.

Do you have any advice as to how I can make them see sense?

 

Aunty S responds

When all else fails, I recommend each and every time a quiet, confidential word in the local Policeman’s ear as to when they will be on the road after a drinking session.

I admire the Country Publicans of today who provide a Courtesy Coach but of course hard-core drink drivers like your son and husband bypass the Pubs and meet at friends’ houses to socialize.

You are a very strong woman to put up with this nonsense.

I wish you well my dear.

Keep me posted.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My brother drives drunk all the time and our mother says her husband, our father, did it all the time too and never got caught.

How do I get through to them that it’s not the getting caught part they should worry about, but the killing of some innocent person on the road.

By chance I followed him home the other night and he was all over the road.

 

Aunty S responds

How sad this mentality is still out there and what a good brother you are for being so disgusted.

You obviously can’t get through to your mother so I would ring the local Policeman and let him know when your brother is likely to be driving drunk again.
Your family never need know it was you who reported him, as the Police know how to be discreet in situations like this.

If you remain silent, think of the guilt you would have to endure if he does kill or maim someone.

Keep strong and keep me posted.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My mother was widowed recently and she drives my late fathers Falcon which is too powerful for her. She is middle-aged in her fifties and has never driven a large car in her life and now realizes it wasn’t a good idea.

What is a good old lady car as I have no idea about cars and my husband is disinterested?

I can spend up to $30,000 on a new vehicle.

 

Aunty S responds

You are a wonderful daughter thinking of both her safety and the safety of others.

I talked to my car dealer friend and he recommended either a Nissan Pulsar Hatch, Nissan Juke ST, Ford Trend Hatch or a Subaru Impreza X which is also a hatchback, as they are easy to drive, making them ideal for both the young or old and furthermore they are all within your price range.

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Ask Aunty S

Dear Aunty S

 

My mother and daughter got matching tattoos recently and I am very embarrassed as Mum is over sixty and my daughter is thirty so you would think they’d have more sense.

They say I am overreacting.

What do you think?

 

Aunty S responds

 

You are definitely overreacting my dear.

Your Mum has good enough skin to sustain a tattoo. Yahoo!!

And your daughter is thirty.

If she was under eighteen and in your care and your mother had manipulated her into getting one, I can see there would be a problem and I would be on your side.

Don’t let these teeny weeny tattoos ruin the wonderful relationship you have with your Mum and daughter.

Life is so short.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

 

Dear Aunty S
My best friend is having an affair and expects me to cover for her when she meets up with him, which I do.

Her husband is really nice and is being driven mad with worry that she is cheating again.
He came round the other night crying asking if she is having another affair.
She promised last time she would never do it again.
I lied to him but my husband caught on I was lying.

He is now furious with me as my friend’s husband is his best friend.

He says if I don’t tell him the truth, he will.

What do I do?

 

Aunty S responds

It was bound to end in tears my dear.

Your friend should never have put you in this position so the answer is quite simple, tell her to come clean or you will.

Yes your friendship will probably be over but who needs a friend like that.

If she runs away with this new boyfriend, make sure you help your husband look after her husband as he obviously is in a lot of emotional pain.

Over and out.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My Doctor put me on Prozac and sleeping pills the day after my husband died and now I feel I have lost control of my life.

I have been reading about grief and now realize what I am experiencing is a normal part of grief and as I never suffered from depression before his death I wonder why he was so keen to put me on pills because I am starting to realize all I was displaying was signs of shock and grief.

Should I still be sad after a year and what do you think of tranquillizers?

I have tried to wean myself off the Prozac but to no avail as I get anxiety attacks which I’ve never experienced in my life before.

I have started taking the sleeping pills every third night and I am actually sleeping better.

What is your opinion?

 

Aunty S responds:

Of course, my darling, it’s normal to feel sad a year down the track.

There is a huge difference between grief and depression.

Yes, some who grieve end up terribly depressed because loneliness takes over and sometimes those around them are insensitive to their needs.

And often financial hardship destroys the way of life they have become accustomed too hence depression sets in.

But you were handed these drugs the day after his death!!!

Give me a break!

You’d never had a depression day in your life and he hands them to you!

I could understand if you were prone to depression but you weren’t!!

Go back to your Doctor, with a trusted friend by your side, and tell him you want to come off Prozac and you require assistance.

Furthermore tell him how you are already weaning yourself off the sleeping pills and sleeping better when off them.

Talking, crying, reminiscing, are all part of the grieving process; as well as sadness, anger, fear and loneliness.

Grief is a long journey.

It is coming up three years since my husband died and there are still moments of deep sadness I have to contend with.

This is the price we pay for having happiness taken away prematurely.

Of course there should be a rule that a husband and a wife should die at a very old age together so as not to leave the other behind, but sadly this isn’t the case.

The info I have sent you on grief is the material I found the most helpful in coping with all stages of grief.

Keep me posted my dear.

I am only a click away.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

 

Dear Aunty S

My problem is with my husband who drives drunk all the time.
He has been banned from the local hotel but now drinks at a friend’s house at least three nights a week.
His parents have begged him to stop driving when drunk as I have and our friends have too but he won’t listen.
I am scared he will kill himself.
What should I do?

 

Aunty S responds

My dear I wouldn’t be worried about him being killed; I would worry about the innocent lives he could take out!
As he is a belligerent man you need to take drastic steps.
Ring the local Policeman and tell him what is going on and as to when he’ll be on the road next.
Problem solved.
He will definitely lose his Drivers Licence.
He can still tootle about on the farm using his tractor and farm vehicles so your income won’t be affected by his inability to drive on the road.
You are not alone with this problem and it took great courage to write in.
Keep strong.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My son’s girlfriend has told me not to visit as my son doesn’t like me but doesn’t want to tell me so.
I cried for days until I told my other children and discovered she had told them to stay away as well using the same reason.
We know it’s a lie as we are a close family.
Our son/brother has been asking us what’s wrong because we don’t visit and we’ve all evaded the question because we don’t want to upset him further as he really loves this girl.
She moved in with him after three weeks of knowing him and he’s never had a live in relationship before. I know we have to tell him the truth before she destroys him and our family but how do we go about it?

Aunty S responds

This is more common than you think my dear.
She is a very manipulative girl who needs to grow up but from experience these kind usually don’t as they live for drama.
She needs to be exposed.
And your son has a right to know what she’s up too. He has lived with madam for five minutes so isn’t too emotionally tangled up with her as yet so strike now and tell him.
Call a family meeting, excluding the little witch, and calmly tell him what she has said to each of you and then apologize to him for not telling him sooner.
Of course he will be broken hearted but he’ll get over it with the love and support from you all.

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