Dear Aunty S

My eighty something year old father has bought himself a new car which is far too big for him to drive safely and now my mother is too frightened to go anywhere with him as he has already dented it a few times from minor mishaps. The Panel beater told me he shouldn’t be driving at all as he bumped into another car when he took it into his shop.

He was diagnosed with early dementia a few months ago.

I am frustrated as I am the only family member who can assist. He has told me he will go to his Lawyer and withdraw the Power of Attorney he gave me if I stick my nose in.

What do I do?

Aunty S responds

I am of the opinion that anyone diagnosed with dementia must stop driving.

Even though we have all this patient confidentiality nonsense these days, please talk to your father’s Doctor and tell him of your father’s purchase and the minor mishaps that have occurred so far. Also talk to your fathers Lawyer and tell him of your father’s irrational behaviour and how he has threatened to cancel the Power Of Attorney.

I am only a click away so you are not alone my dear.

Dear Aunty S

My children won’t accept my boyfriend so will not be coming home for Xmas nor will my sisters be visiting on the day.

My boyfriend is a widower with no children whom I have known for many years.

It’s ten years since their father died so I feel they are being unreasonable as I have never looked at another man until now.

What do you think?

Aunty S responds

Your children and sisters are being silly and cruel and need to grow up.
They may come round in time; the best thing you can do is try not to worry about their rejection hence don’t sit at home on Xmas day, pack a picnic hamper and head off to his beach bach.
Enjoy your life my darling.

Dear Aunty S 

My husband wants our eldest son to take over the family farm but he insists he doesn’t want a farming career.

Now my husband wants to pay for him to have a work free OE with the hope he will come home and settle down.

My son doesn’t want to go and is getting fed up with my husbands attempts as he just wants a simple life growing vegetables for a Farmers Market in an off grid house which he intends to build himself.

Our younger son would like to take over the farm so it would stay in the family but my husband disagrees.
He isn’t hurt by his older brother being the preferred one, as he is easy going.

How do I make my husband see sense?

Aunty S responds

You have a very stubborn husband my dear but all is not lost.
The solution is simple.
Your son must sit down with his Dad and in a kind loving way explain that nothing will make him change his mind; he doesn’t want to be a Farmer so his generous offer of an OE trip would be a total waste of money and assure him of how happy he is that his younger brother wants to take over the farm.
Sadly a lot of old fashioned views still rear their ugly head from time to time.
You are so fortunate to have such sensible sons, probably a lot to do with how they were brought up.

Dear Aunty S

My friends and I are going to a Male Strip show next week and my husband is being nasty about it. He says our boys will be embarrassed if their friends find out.

It’s just a bit of fun.

What do you think?

Aunty S responds

If you are quite happy to wave goodbye to your husband if he decides to go out with the boys to a Strip Club, I don’t think there is anything wrong with your decision.

Your kids will recover from the embarrassment should their friends find out.

Thirty-five years ago a friend of mine was photographed whilst standing in a line waiting for the doors to open to a similar show. The photo was placed on the front page of our local Paper much to the embarrassment of her sons. Her husband laughed and thought it a great joke. As her sons were of a similar age to the strippers, they struggled to understand how their Mother would find boys of their age taking their clothes as entertaining.

It’s a different world now; anything and everything is acceptable so maybe your boys will be fine with it but I think you should ask them how they feel first.

My old friend wishes she had.

Oh my giddy Aunt……I have liver spots on my hands and arms.
Apparently nothing to do with the liver; it’s all to do with old age.
Sixty-one is just around the corner so of course I am old so why should I miss the glory of liver spots.
I remember a dear old friend who would have been a whole fifty-five at the time, telling me how she hated her brown spots and how she was using peroxide to fade them!!
What a drastic solution I thought at the time.
I should have told her how they looked fine but I didn’t because I was taken aback but in my defence, I was young and oblivious to how sad she must have felt at the prospect of growing old alone because at that point in my life I had absolutely no knowledge as to how sad widowhood could be.
I embrace my liver spots, my sagging middle, my padded back brace; which keeps me upright, and all the other body bits that are being affected by old age.
Each and every morning I look in the mirror and still recognize it’s me in this aging body which is differing from week to week.
How lucky I am to still be on Planet Earth and how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family.

Dear Aunty S

My daughter in law has been diagnosed with an illness, which means she will be in a wheelchair in a year or two.
My son is young and only married her when she got pregnant so he thinks it’s best if the marriage ends now as he doesn’t love her enough to cope with her illness.   He has told her to go but she won’t. The kids are young so they will not miss my son.
I have told her she is being selfish but she refuses to listen and says if he wants to go, he can but she is not leaving.
How do I make her realize my son doesn’t want her?

Aunty S responds

What!!!
Why should your daughter-in-law leave her home??
If your son wants the single life he should be the one to leave.
What a callous young man you have raised; I’m sure you must feel such parental pride every time you gaze into his eyes.
Your daughter-in-law hasn’t been given a death sentence so what is all the drama about?  Isn’t it just an excuse for your son to get rid of her.
Take a deep breathe before you say another unkind word to your daughter-in-law.
Over and out.