Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My daughter in law is a useless cook and my son is losing weight and looks miserable.
She gets home from work before him yet she only starts cooking when he walks in the door so I think he should stop in at my place for a meal each night.

Aunty S responds

Why not make a meal for both of them and he can pick them up on his way home?
Or pop them in their fridge so they can reheat them when they get home?
And how about offering to teach them both to cook so when your future grandchildren come along they won’t starve to death.
Over and out.

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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

I have never seen my grandchildren.
I assisted my daughter financially in the hope that she would let me see my grandchildren but to no avail.
She became a solo mother in her late twenties and her father and I started giving her money after she refused our offer of her coming home to live in our basement flat which we rent out.
We told her the flat would be rent free  and we would pay the telephone and power.
She declined our offer and then we found out she had told her friends that we had insisted she have an abortion which was a lie.
Then she met her husband and kept the lie going so when they had children he backed her in not allowing the children any contact with us.
Our sons have nothing to do with her as she created havoc throughout their childhood.
My husband is more heartbroken than I am over our lost grandchildren and now he is dying I feel I should make contact again for his sake and basically beg her to show some decency toward him as he desperately wants to meet his grandchildren.
I know it will be futile but should I at least try?

Aunty S responds

Dreadful things happen to good people my dear and I feel very strongly that making contact again would only distress you further which in turn would distress your husband even more.
Your daughter is caught up in a lie. She cannot afford her husband and children to find out the truth…..even if you promised her you wouldn’t mention the ‘abortion lie’ she would be frantic she would be found out.
Sadly there are many grandparents and parents in your position.
Treasure the last moments you have with your dear husband and be thankful you have great sons.
I am only a click away.

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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

When I go out at night my husband angrily refuses to look after the kids so I get my friend to babysit them in our house.
He always says he is not a babysitter.
Our kids are four and seven.
My friend thinks he is cruel as he won’t interact the kids,  he sits on his computer playing games all night.
He goes to the gym four nights a week so I feel I should be allowed to go out once a week for a couple of hours.
What do you think?

Aunty S responds

When a mother cares for her children it is called parenting.
When a father cares for his children it is  called parenting.
Babysitting is when an outside party comes into your home to care for the children.
As he is a disinterested father you are doing the right thing by having a trusted friend babysit them.
They are safe in her care my dear so keep with the status quo.
You look after yourself and keep being a good responsible mother.


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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

I have a wonderful daughter in law and a useless son.
He divorced her when the kids were little as he couldn’t stand being tied down.
He has never visited them or asked after them.
My daughter in law has a male friend and he is so kind to her and the kids.
She recently told my daughter in confidence that he wants to marry her but she will not marry him or live with him as she is scared I will be angry with her and walk out of their lives.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
How do I tell her I would be overjoyed if she marries this man without betraying my daughter?

Aunty S responds

Take her out to lunch and out of the blue tell her how happy you are that she has found such a great man and how you will be even happier if they marry.
Try to look a little surprised when she says he has already asked her and then follow on with saying how she deserves all the happiness in the world, etc.
You are a treasure my dear.

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Ask Aunty S


Dear Aunty S

My brother’s wife is having an affair and he is unaware.

He works away to make money for a house deposit, she only goes home when he arrives home for the weekend, her boyfriend has already left his wife and rents an apartment where they live during the week.

I asked her why she is doing this and she said it was none of my business so do I tell him or do I let him find out the hard way?

I am so distressed by all this as I know my brother will be devastated as he really loves her.

Aunty S responds

Of course it’s your business, he is your brother!

Tell him now as there is no time to waste.

Of course he will be heartbroken but if he finds out further down the track that you were aware and didn’t tell him…..how betrayed he will feel…

Trust me I have seen far too many folk  sit on the fence in similar situations with shattering consequences. 

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Joys of the Common Cold

Well here we are ..the time of the year when the common cold virus is prevalent.
Even though the common cold is a dreadful virus it far better to endure than influenza.
A couple of weeks ago this dreaded common cold attacked Sam and then last Friday I succumbed.
I couldn’t lift my  head of the pillow for two days and now l resemble a hunter who has been beaten up by a bear.
I look dreadful, so dreadful.
I was forced to hang towels over all the mirrors in our home as I was starting to scare myself.

I struggled out yesterday to get some Panadeine as this is the only medication that works for me and a few essential groceries.
The only painkillers in the house were paracetamol which works for the rest of my family when on death’s door but not me.
As I struggled through Super Value, horribly embarrassed at being there, as the staff must want to throttle people like me, spreading their germs to all and sundry.
I mumbled I was a bit crook and sped like a lunatic around the shop so was out in a few minutes.
I nearly forgot Dave’s booze as he was delivering some last minute Granny Smith orders for us.
The orders came through just before we closed for the Season and they were quite happy to wait for Dave to deliver them as he comes through to Central once a month.
He gets booze this end for his trouble and cakes at the other end.
A very happy man.

I collapsed in bed when I got home.
Sam gently scolded me when he discovered I had been shopping as he had strictly told me in the morning that he would get anything I needed.
Such a good son.

It struck Ruby yesterday and today she looks like she has been beaten up by my bear but after some paracetamol she says she is ready for work albeit slowly.    Belle hasn’t succumbed yet and hopefully she won’t.
She has an amazing immune system……my dear gorgeous little Belle.
On a brighter note, whilst in bed last night, the phone went and on the end of the line was a dear old family friend.
He was having a boring night as there was nothing to watch on TV so thought a yarn with his old mate Sandra was just what the Doctor ordered.

After realising I was at death’s door, he went on to tell me, whiskey is the elixir of life and is maliciously misrepresented as it saves lives when the common cold or influenza strikes so how could it be evil!
I have heard this story hundreds of times with  a little bit more information added on each time yet I still smile at his quick wit.
Once he realised I didn’t have long for this world, he offered to drive up with a bottle.
I declined his gracious offer.
He then admitted that he may have drunk a wee bit too much for him to get behind the wheel of his car BUT could courier me up a  bottle or two the next day.
I again declined.

At sixty-three I feel I may be a bit too old to take up the joyful art of drinking booze.
But then again he is well in his eighties so he just may be drinking a longevity liquid.
I bought him a breathalyser for his last birthday which he loves.
Not that he has ever driven drunk, he would never dream of it as this is one subject that gets him angry.
He shops once every few weeks and when he decides the day, he stops drinking at 5pm the night before and only starts the car up at 2pm.
This dear man does no harm to anyone; is kind, funny, thoughtful, lonely at times, highly intelligent, doesn’t suffer fools gladly, non-judgemental, grows wonderful veggies,  and I am proud to call him my friend.

Sadly there are those who call him “the old drunk”.

Shame on them.




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Time for a Laugh

Okay… we all need a laugh or inspiration….














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November 9

Another year knocked off.

Sixty-two today.

No changes to my body as of yet but am expecting another wrinkle or two around the eyes or possibly the neck over the next couple of days but am prepared for it; Nivea Crème is at the ready!

During old age many folk shrink but I am prepared for this body change as well; I bought some high boots a couple of weeks ago which I now wear with pride everyday and to my surprise they are really comfy.

And to think I had surmised I would have to suffer for style.


There is a slight issue with getting out of them at the end of the day, but thankfully someone is always on hand to assist me with the extraction.

Fortunately for me getting into them is an actual breeze!


These old age changes, I call,
“What the hell is going to happen next?”


On a serious note, I have never worried about the aging process, as many of the folk whom I have loved or cared for, have left Planet Earth which makes me sad, especially on Birthdays and Anniversaries.


My 25th Wedding Anniversary was yesterday so every year I have two memory filled days, one after another, to contend with which can be a wee bit difficult at times.

Every year I tell myself I will cope better this time round, but of course, I am proved wrong.

Memories can either make you happy or sad or both.

In my case, both emotions kick in.

My 62nd Birthday was celebrated in Queenstown on Monday; before my memory packed days; with my lovely family.

We laughed and smiled all day.

Everyday I count my blessings.


Here is a selection of photos taken over the past couple of weeks of my garden, West Coast and Queenstown.

And my wonderful family, Sam, Ruby & Aunty Belle

























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Time for a laugh


don't be an ass

fat cells

left and right knee

parking spot

perks of being over 50

sleep time




little bags

mature adult


old lady fell


poem about growing older





More Images

when your children think of you


wisdom & integrity

child who reads



don't judge

Cat needs air


online exercise


todays forecast


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