Uncategorized

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

I recently found out my father isn’t my father and my mother refuses to tell me who my real father is so my father is helping me even though he is devastated that a friend of his was the one who told me when he was drunk at a recent Funeral we all attended. 
Apparently it is common knowledge that I am not my father’s biological child, with me being the only one who didn’t know.
My father showed me photos taken at the time I was conceived and I am a mirror image of one of his mates.
My mother has never admitted to my father that this man is my biological father but it is blatantly obvious.
My father has been the best father I could have wished for and he is happy to make contact with him is I can meet him but I really don’t want this as he is nothing to me.

He had an affair with my mother and then went overseas when she got pregnant.
All I actually want from this man is the family medical history.
I know where his mother lives and apparently she is a very nice woman so I am thinking of writing to him and getting his her to forward it.
If I visit her she will see the striking resemblance  so my father has offered to hand deliver it.
I checked him out on Facebook and I really didn’t like what I saw so this confirmed my decision not to meet him.
Am I approaching this in the right way?

Aunty S responds

What an amazing young man you are!
You have a well thought out plan but there is a Plan B that you may like to consider.
Your father could phone your biological grandmother and ask for his address under the guise of wanting to catch up with her son as he will be in part of the world in a month’s time.
If by some chance your biological father decides not to speak/correspond with you, I have a Plan B to find out his family medical history which I will reveal should you get back in contact.
I wish you all the luck in the world.

rose border

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My mother in law is in the early stages of dementia and none of her direct family want to know! 
They keep making excuses for her irrational behaviour.
My husband knows she is losing the plot but says he doesn’t want to be the first one stating the obvious.
She is driving erratically and arrives at our house and forgets where she is.
For her safety we have to sort this out.
First off her licence needs to be cancelled and there needs to be a good long look at her home safety issues as she has already had two stove fires.
She nudged the freezer into the wall when she drove into her garage recently.
The list goes on.
What should I do?

Aunty S responds

Your husband and the rest of his family sound like they will never take their heads out of the sand so it is up to you my dear.
Approach her Doctor and explain what is going on, especially about her erratic driving, stove fires and freezer nudge.
If the Doctor isn’t interested in what you have to say and refuses to take away her licence, politely state that you will be contacting the Police for advice.
If you get nowhere contact me again as I have a Plan B.

rose border

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My mother in law is precious to me and has been throughout my long marriage to her son who left the children and I very early into the marriage.

After he refused to pay child support, he went overseas.
He hasn’t contacted his mother or his children during this time. We know all about him through his cousin who visits him.
My mother in law recently signed over her house to me as she is worried about her health and didn’t want her son getting his hands in it.
We live with her so she doesn’t have to worry about home assistance.
My children adore their Nan as I do.
My ex husband found out through his cousin that I am now the legal owner of the house and he is sending me abusive emails.
How do I stop him?

 

Aunty S responds

Don’t open the emails my dear, it’s that simple.
Delete, delete & delete.
Continue being a wonderful daughter in law and mother.
Don’t waste a minute more of your time thinking of him.

rose border

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

I can no longer afford the rates on my home so I am selling my home of forty years to move live close to my sister  and her family. 
They know I have been lonely for many years and have shown me such kindness and are looking forward to my arrival.
Working and then living on a single pension and keeping up the rates, insurance and maintenance on my large home saw me dipping into my savings which now is all gone.
I have been trapped in this house with no luxuries as my husband promised our children that I would stay in it until my death and then they would all receive a large inheritance.
I will be able to buy a house and a car, travel to England for a holiday with my sister and have more than enough for emergencies.
I am excited but there is one problem, my children say I am being selfish as I will be wasting their inheritance.
They are angry with me and won’t speak to me.
They even had the cheek to say I should sell the house and give them their share now. I asked where I would go and they said I could rent a pensioner flat.
I am sixty-eight, in good health and want to sell up for a new life,  but am I being selfish?

Aunt S responds

Of course you are not being selfish my darling girl.
Living frugally all these years must have been a harrowing  experience so you deserve all the happiness in the world.
Enjoy your new life with your other family…you are very fortunate indeed to have them as many folk are alone in this world.
Try very hard not to let your adult children’s behaviour drag you down emotionally.
Their behaviour is deplorable, they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves!
Just keep smiling and enjoy yourself and I am fairly sure the financial freedom you will experience once your house sells will keep a smile on your face for a very long time.
Only a click away.

rose border

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My daughter in law is a useless cook and my son is losing weight and looks miserable.
She gets home from work before him yet she only starts cooking when he walks in the door so I think he should stop in at my place for a meal each night.

Aunty S responds

Why not make a meal for both of them and he can pick them up on his way home?
Or pop them in their fridge so they can reheat them when they get home?
And how about offering to teach them both to cook so when your future grandchildren come along they won’t starve to death.
Over and out.

rose border

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

I have never seen my grandchildren.
I assisted my daughter financially in the hope that she would let me see my grandchildren but to no avail.
She became a solo mother in her late twenties and her father and I started giving her money after she refused our offer of her coming home to live in our basement flat which we rent out.
We told her the flat would be rent free  and we would pay the telephone and power.
She declined our offer and then we found out she had told her friends that we had insisted she have an abortion which was a lie.
Then she met her husband and kept the lie going so when they had children he backed her in not allowing the children any contact with us.
Our sons have nothing to do with her as she created havoc throughout their childhood.
My husband is more heartbroken than I am over our lost grandchildren and now he is dying I feel I should make contact again for his sake and basically beg her to show some decency toward him as he desperately wants to meet his grandchildren.
I know it will be futile but should I at least try?

Aunty S responds

Dreadful things happen to good people my dear and I feel very strongly that making contact again would only distress you further which in turn would distress your husband even more.
Your daughter is caught up in a lie. She cannot afford her husband and children to find out the truth…..even if you promised her you wouldn’t mention the ‘abortion lie’ she would be frantic she would be found out.
Sadly there are many grandparents and parents in your position.
Treasure the last moments you have with your dear husband and be thankful you have great sons.
I am only a click away.

rose border

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

When I go out at night my husband angrily refuses to look after the kids so I get my friend to babysit them in our house.
He always says he is not a babysitter.
Our kids are four and seven.
My friend thinks he is cruel as he won’t interact the kids,  he sits on his computer playing games all night.
He goes to the gym four nights a week so I feel I should be allowed to go out once a week for a couple of hours.
What do you think?

Aunty S responds

When a mother cares for her children it is called parenting.
When a father cares for his children it is  called parenting.
Babysitting is when an outside party comes into your home to care for the children.
As he is a disinterested father you are doing the right thing by having a trusted friend babysit them.
They are safe in her care my dear so keep with the status quo.
You look after yourself and keep being a good responsible mother.

 

rose border

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

I have a wonderful daughter in law and a useless son.
He divorced her when the kids were little as he couldn’t stand being tied down.
He has never visited them or asked after them.
My daughter in law has a male friend and he is so kind to her and the kids.
She recently told my daughter in confidence that he wants to marry her but she will not marry him or live with him as she is scared I will be angry with her and walk out of their lives.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
How do I tell her I would be overjoyed if she marries this man without betraying my daughter?

Aunty S responds

Take her out to lunch and out of the blue tell her how happy you are that she has found such a great man and how you will be even happier if they marry.
Try to look a little surprised when she says he has already asked her and then follow on with saying how she deserves all the happiness in the world, etc.
You are a treasure my dear.

rose border

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My brother’s wife is having an affair and he is unaware.

He works away to make money for a house deposit, she only goes home when he arrives home for the weekend, her boyfriend has already left his wife and rents an apartment where they live during the week.

I asked her why she is doing this and she said it was none of my business so do I tell him or do I let him find out the hard way?

I am so distressed by all this as I know my brother will be devastated as he really loves her.

Aunty S responds

Of course it’s your business, he is your brother!

Tell him now as there is no time to waste.

Of course he will be heartbroken but if he finds out further down the track that you were aware and didn’t tell him…..how betrayed he will feel…

Trust me I have seen far too many folk  sit on the fence in similar situations with shattering consequences. 

rose border

 

Joys of the Common Cold

Well here we are ..the time of the year when the common cold virus is prevalent.
Even though the common cold is a dreadful virus it far better to endure than influenza.
A couple of weeks ago this dreaded common cold attacked Sam and then last Friday I succumbed.
I couldn’t lift my  head of the pillow for two days and now l resemble a hunter who has been beaten up by a bear.
I look dreadful, so dreadful.
I was forced to hang towels over all the mirrors in our home as I was starting to scare myself.

I struggled out yesterday to get some Panadeine as this is the only medication that works for me and a few essential groceries.
The only painkillers in the house were paracetamol which works for the rest of my family when on death’s door but not me.
As I struggled through Super Value, horribly embarrassed at being there, as the staff must want to throttle people like me, spreading their germs to all and sundry.
I mumbled I was a bit crook and sped like a lunatic around the shop so was out in a few minutes.
I nearly forgot Dave’s booze as he was delivering some last minute Granny Smith orders for us.
The orders came through just before we closed for the Season and they were quite happy to wait for Dave to deliver them as he comes through to Central once a month.
He gets booze this end for his trouble and cakes at the other end.
A very happy man.

I collapsed in bed when I got home.
Sam gently scolded me when he discovered I had been shopping as he had strictly told me in the morning that he would get anything I needed.
Such a good son.

It struck Ruby yesterday and today she looks like she has been beaten up by my bear but after some paracetamol she says she is ready for work albeit slowly.    Belle hasn’t succumbed yet and hopefully she won’t.
She has an amazing immune system……my dear gorgeous little Belle.
On a brighter note, whilst in bed last night, the phone went and on the end of the line was a dear old family friend.
He was having a boring night as there was nothing to watch on TV so thought a yarn with his old mate Sandra was just what the Doctor ordered.

After realising I was at death’s door, he went on to tell me, whiskey is the elixir of life and is maliciously misrepresented as it saves lives when the common cold or influenza strikes so how could it be evil!
I have heard this story hundreds of times with  a little bit more information added on each time yet I still smile at his quick wit.
Once he realised I didn’t have long for this world, he offered to drive up with a bottle.
I declined his gracious offer.
He then admitted that he may have drunk a wee bit too much for him to get behind the wheel of his car BUT could courier me up a  bottle or two the next day.
I again declined.

At sixty-three I feel I may be a bit too old to take up the joyful art of drinking booze.
But then again he is well in his eighties so he just may be drinking a longevity liquid.
I bought him a breathalyser for his last birthday which he loves.
Not that he has ever driven drunk, he would never dream of it as this is one subject that gets him angry.
He shops once every few weeks and when he decides the day, he stops drinking at 5pm the night before and only starts the car up at 2pm.
This dear man does no harm to anyone; is kind, funny, thoughtful, lonely at times, highly intelligent, doesn’t suffer fools gladly, non-judgemental, grows wonderful veggies,  and I am proud to call him my friend.

Sadly there are those who call him “the old drunk”.

Shame on them.

73323e4b78a2f51a3c14307b8957f46a--allergy-asthma-sinus-infection

27cc098a12eeda7c08ae3d7e7a76f9af

745aa9239e23529b91fabae9f019fa32

rose border