sandra

Time for a Laugh

Okay… we all need a laugh or inspiration….

 

14063835_1609395679354939_2438791305992148815_n-2

d2490e1fd2fb2a6851eb277d179f860f

best-funny-quotes-be-careful-when-you-follow-the-masses-sometimes-the-m-is-silent-coolfunnyquot

14067611_1609235142704326_9166925974980114169_n

f6b3097b044a435dcb5f10dbb2debe39--funny-but-true-lol-funny

images-176

images-175

images-174

images-173

images-172

images-171

images-9

images-177 14054518_1609051589389348_4607872815070638085_o

14054142_1609395582688282_5368010816144770129_n-2

 

14051700_1608925969401910_4361892977449788314_n

14045884_1609237956037378_480843861296599280_n

13988139_1609049699389537_1069983730170082382_o 13958277_1609049902722850_5816283142827007842_o 39aed8f4b80c7858c868313eaefdfd65 17ca31f88be6ce6716adf1255c2aa8ef--remember-this-something-to-remember 5f4fffe314c833d66d1eb1ef69f89bcc 210c1131f92aa572ef1879271fecea6a

Ask Aunty S

Dear Aunty S

My four year old daughter doesn’t talk, wets her pants and the bed, is very nervous.
Up until two weeks ago she was cared for in our home by a close friend who is experienced in childcare.
As we work long hours we thought it best to have in-house childcare and our close friend applied for the job.
I arranged for our daughter to be tested by a Specialist and he found nothing wrong with her which seemed strange so we set up a spy camera in our house never expecting on seeing anything amiss.
After the first day of surveillance, we sacked our friend as all we saw was her being on the phone all day or playing games on it. She constantly told our daughter to “shut up and watch TV” and when it came to snacks and lunch, she threw the food at her. She never once spoke to her. She invited her friends over during that one day and their kids treated our daughter appallingly.  She was cowering in the corner, as she was so frightened.  I still cry thinking about it.
I have quit my job and am trying to repair the damage done to her.
The guilt we feel is horrendous.
How do I build up her shattered confidence as I am struggling with what to do?

Aunty S responds

You extracted your daughter from the care of this vile woman the minute you found out what she was up to so to me you are a wonderful compassionate mother.
As you live in close proximity to a huge park and the beach, buy an age appropriate Bird Identification book and a pair of child binoculars and go  bird-watching.

Collect shells, build sand castles, swim, laugh, have picnic lunches.
Go shopping together.
Interact with her on a continual basis.
Tell her she is a wonderful daughter and how much you love her.
Talk about your ex-friend. Ask her how she feels about her now.  Is she frightened of her?
If she is, tell her she never has to see her again.

Validate how she feels….she has every right to be angry, hurt, sad, worried, frightened.
Make her feel special….buy a kids joke book and tell jokes…sing together.

Don’t force other kids on her…she needs to have her confidence built up first before she can feel comfortable with others.
Embrace everyday with a passion.
Talk and read to her on a continuous basis.

She has been conditioned to watching TV alone so make sure this never happens again. Always sit down and watch it together. It will be a great opportunity to bond.
Read age appropriate books to her off and on during the day…..make the books come alive with wit and laughter, and read to her overnight before she nods off.
As your husband enjoys fishing, buy a rod for you and your daughter as well and make fishing a family outing whenever possible.

Don’t worry; her confidence will be built up by the time she goes to school.

I am only a click away.

Garden photos – Spring of 2017

During the winter months I had grandiose plans of completing many of my unfinished projects which included the pile of decoupage artwork sitting on my desk gathering dust, editing hundreds of Aunty S letters for public posting, and of course writing my blog, which had to be put on the back burner due to other commitments.

Life just got in the way!
Anyhow I am back and here are some photos of my garden taken taken over the past couple of months.
We live in paradise here on the Orchard. Some folk love an ocean or lake view from their home…..not us……it’s all about a having a home in a garden setting.
And by the way I enjoy receiving my Aunty S correspondence and even though I have been negligent in editing and posting online, I have and always will reply personally.
Editing ensures your privacy is kept intact.

 

IMG_0274

IMG_2662

IMG_2652

IMG_2650

IMG_2648

IMG_2646

IMG_2644

IMG_2608

IMG_2604

IMG_2603

IMG_2602

IMG_2601

IMG_2594

IMG_2580

IMG_2575

IMG_2574

IMG_2572

IMG_2571

IMG_2570

IMG_2568

IMG_2567

IMG_2566

IMG_2565

IMG_2564

IMG_2561

IMG_2560

IMG_2558

IMG_2556

IMG_2554

IMG_2553

IMG_2547

IMG_2542

IMG_2538

IMG_2535

IMG_2534

IMG_2532

IMG_2530

IMG_2529

IMG_2527

IMG_2522

IMG_2521

IMG_2514

IMG_2513

IMG_2511

IMG_2506

IMG_2498

IMG_2490

IMG_2465

IMG_2464

IMG_2460

IMG_2459

IMG_2385

IMG_0292

IMG_0249

IMG_0225

IMG_0265

 

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My flatmate is a slob and I want him to move out but his name is on the lease with mine so I am stuck with him for the next two years.
How do I make him clean up after himself?
Help?

Aunty S responds

You both have well paying jobs so the answer is easy.
Hire a cleaner to come in on Mondays and Fridays.
There is plenty to select from in your area so start dialling.

 

Dear Aunty S

I was a widow for a couple of years and remarried a few months ago but  am desperately unhappy.
Loneliness was the reason I chose this man as he was so attentive and kind but it was an act as he is vulgar and lazy.
I moved into his house and he has been putting pressure on me to sell mine and do his up.
He yells at me all the time, criticises my cooking and is just horrible.
He says he will go for half my house and money if I leave.
His house isn’t worth much so I know he will want half my money and house.
We are already sleeping apart and all I want to do is go home but my son says I’ll embarrass myself if I don’t give this marriage a go.
My daughters want me to leave and will help me do so.
I never rented my house so I can walk back in.
I left a beautiful home and gardens and I miss them so much.
I feel like such an old fool.
What do you think I should do?

Aunty S responds

Don’t stay another minute my darling.
Ring your girls and get out of there as soon as you can. You haver been married for five minutes so he has no legal claim on your house or money.
This sounds like a bullying tactic to make you stay.
A letter from your Lawyer will put paid to this nonsense.
Hold your head up high and don’t look back.
Your son is being a silly boy but  I am sure he will calm down in time.
Time for you to take charge of your life.
Join a club or a group in your town,  I checked them out and have sent you a list.
Hire a local gardener to tidy up your garden and get your life back to how it used to be.
Keep in touch.

 

Dear Aunty S

My son’s wife doesn’t bake and hardly ever cooks a meal.  She hints that she’d like me to do it as I live next door.   I ignore the hints.
My son works hard and ends up having to cook at night most nights.
How do I make him realise she is just being lazy as she has a job which isn’t that physical.
My son misses my baking and meals so I am worried about him.

Aunty S responds

Why don’t you take her up on her hints and bake for them and how about making meals for them as well.
You could make a one dish meal which could be reheated or make a meat and veggie option which could be plated up and frozen if need be or popped in their fridge for reheating when they get home.
A friend of mine does this for her son and daughter-in-law as they both work.
She is paid enough to cover the groceries and power and thoroughly enjoys helping her boy.
A lot of folk don’t like baking and cooking, I have found  a lot of the time it has nothing to do with being lazy.
Your daughter-in-law will be the mother of your future grandchildren so this gesture may help build a strong bond between you.

 

Dear Aunty S

My new boyfriend’s sister doesn’t like me and only invites my boyfriend to her parties.
He always insists on taking me which annoys her as she never speaks to me.
He is oblivious to all this.
Should I tell him?

Aunty S responds

I wouldn’t mention it my dear.
His sister is either a control freak or a sister who knows her brother has been hurt before so is not warming to you until she sees you are worthy of him.
Once she sees you are definitely making him happy she will probably warm to you.
Give it a month and if this hasn’t happened, write in again and I’ll give you Plan B.

rose border

 

November 9

Another year knocked off.

Sixty-two today.

No changes to my body as of yet but am expecting another wrinkle or two around the eyes or possibly the neck over the next couple of days but am prepared for it; Nivea Crème is at the ready!

During old age many folk shrink but I am prepared for this body change as well; I bought some high boots a couple of weeks ago which I now wear with pride everyday and to my surprise they are really comfy.

And to think I had surmised I would have to suffer for style.

Wrong!

There is a slight issue with getting out of them at the end of the day, but thankfully someone is always on hand to assist me with the extraction.

Fortunately for me getting into them is an actual breeze!

 

These old age changes, I call,
“What the hell is going to happen next?”

 

On a serious note, I have never worried about the aging process, as many of the folk whom I have loved or cared for, have left Planet Earth which makes me sad, especially on Birthdays and Anniversaries.

 

My 25th Wedding Anniversary was yesterday so every year I have two memory filled days, one after another, to contend with which can be a wee bit difficult at times.

Every year I tell myself I will cope better this time round, but of course, I am proved wrong.

Memories can either make you happy or sad or both.

In my case, both emotions kick in.

My 62nd Birthday was celebrated in Queenstown on Monday; before my memory packed days; with my lovely family.

We laughed and smiled all day.

Everyday I count my blessings.

****************************************************************************

Here is a selection of photos taken over the past couple of weeks of my garden, West Coast and Queenstown.

And my wonderful family, Sam, Ruby & Aunty Belle

 

img_1093

img_1105

img_1112

img_1119

img_1127

img_1129

img_1190

img_1219

img_1313

img_1337

img_1340

img_1346

img_1347

img_1366

img_1383

img_1431

img_1432

img_1435

img_1440

img_1443

img_1446

img_1470

img_1524

img_1529 img_1534 img_1540 img_1544 img_1833 img_1841 img_1843 img_1845 img_1847 img_1849 img_1862

img_1877

img_1907

img_1915

img_1940

img_1974 img_1982

img_2015

img_2028

img_2030

12 August

My stance on bullying is well known so imagine my surprise when I received the following.

After checking the validity, I decided to post it but understand before you read it; it is a very raw condensed account of a bully’s life so if you have been a victim/target of a bully you may find it a bit distressing.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Sandra

I was a Sophomore when I became a bully and thirty-nine when I quit, after an epiphany when my son, a Senior, targeted another student and bullied him mercilessly to the brink of suicide.

Fortunately another boy, who had been off school for a month, on his first day back, challenged my son in front of the class as common sense told him it was a pack of lies.

This boy took the matter to the Principal, Head Teacher and the School Counselor and within minutes of them talking to my son later that day, he crumpled and tearfully admitted what he had done.

Due to the severity of the bullying, the Police were brought in and before charges were laid, he was expelled from school.

My son was very fortunate to have been challenged and to his credit, his tears were genuine, as the reality of what he had done had sunk in.

 

My tears were only ever crocodile ones, always at the ready to manipulate a situation.

My years of bullying began when one evening I decided to skip my homework so the next day when I was asked to produce it, I burst into tears and blubbered how an older boy had thrown my homework out the school bus window, while telling me I would get a hiding if I told on him.

The Teacher was outraged and hauled the boy out of his class, and marched him into ours, demanding he apologized to me.

He refused and tried to tell how I was lying but it fell on deaf ears. The Teacher then sent him to the Principal.

 

This incident started me on the road to becoming a bully; a gullible teacher believing me without checking facts and as I had always sat behind the driver, a quick check with him would have seen my story fall apart.

 

By the time I left High School I was an accomplished bully, I was well skilled in choosing the most gullible to manipulate; they were my lackeys ready to spread whatever I told them.

Isolating my victims with lies and innuendo was how I would gain the control.

There is a misconception that victims of bullies are weak, none of mine were.

Throughout the years I manipulated the firing of co-workers, destroyed marriages, destroyed my own brother’s marriage by telling him a story how his wife had come on to me, the list goes on for miles.

Shortly after my son was expelled, we moved to another State as our town was not forgiving of what my son had done.

It’s been eight years since my life changed for the better but I will live with the shame of my actions and that of my son’s for the rest of my life.

Keep exposing bullies Sandra, you may save a life or lives.

R.M.

 

 

Time for a laugh

13934780_1327055777324241_8055951467452870606_n

don't be an ass

fat cells

left and right knee

parking spot

perks of being over 50

sleep time

spider

titanic

 

little bags

mature adult

 

old lady fell

 

poem about growing older

 

banjo

 

broomstick

More Images

when your children think of you

 

wisdom & integrity

child who reads

happiness

parts-of-speech-in-english

don't judge

Cat needs air

narcissist

online exercise

integrity

todays forecast

 

rose border

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

There is a growing attraction between the husband of a friend of mine and me.
I know he is as miserable as I am and as our children have all left home it won’t be that messy if we get together.
Do you think I should make the first approach?

 

Aunty S responds

No.
Over and out.

rose border

Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

 

Dear Aunty S

My wife refuses to learn to drive. I have always known this but thought she would eventually give in.
I told her she was being childish and now she is distant towards me.
I don’t know whether she is depressed or just giving me the cold shoulder hoping I will back down which I won’t.

 

Aunty S responds

You are bullying your wife you silly boy; if you want to save your marriage you better back down fast and grovel big time.
She told you she was never going to drive so what really is the big deal? Or are you a manipulative control freak?
She is either sad, angry, shocked, confused or all of the above as she clearly has not seen this side of you before.
Think about what I’ve written.

rose border