November 9

Another year knocked off.

Sixty-two today.

No changes to my body as of yet but am expecting another wrinkle or two around the eyes or possibly the neck over the next couple of days but am prepared for it; Nivea Crème is at the ready!

During old age many folk shrink but I am prepared for this body change as well; I bought some high boots a couple of weeks ago which I now wear with pride everyday and to my surprise they are really comfy.

And to think I had surmised I would have to suffer for style.

Wrong!

There is a slight issue with getting out of them at the end of the day, but thankfully someone is always on hand to assist me with the extraction.

Fortunately for me getting into them is an actual breeze!

 

These old age changes, I call,
“What the hell is going to happen next?”

 

On a serious note, I have never worried about the aging process, as many of the folk whom I have loved or cared for, have left Planet Earth which makes me sad, especially on Birthdays and Anniversaries.

 

My 25th Wedding Anniversary was yesterday so every year I have two memory filled days, one after another, to contend with which can be a wee bit difficult at times.

Every year I tell myself I will cope better this time round, but of course, I am proved wrong.

Memories can either make you happy or sad or both.

In my case, both emotions kick in.

My 62nd Birthday was celebrated in Queenstown on Monday; before my memory packed days; with my lovely family.

We laughed and smiled all day.

Everyday I count my blessings.

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Here is a selection of photos taken over the past couple of weeks of my garden, West Coast and Queenstown.

And my wonderful family, Sam, Ruby & Aunty Belle

 

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12 August

My stance on bullying is well known so imagine my surprise when I received the following.

After checking the validity, I decided to post it but understand before you read it; it is a very raw condensed account of a bully’s life so if you have been a victim/target of a bully you may find it a bit distressing.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Sandra

I was a Sophomore when I became a bully and thirty-nine when I quit, after an epiphany when my son, a Senior, targeted another student and bullied him mercilessly to the brink of suicide.

Fortunately another boy, who had been off school for a month, on his first day back, challenged my son in front of the class as common sense told him it was a pack of lies.

This boy took the matter to the Principal, Head Teacher and the School Counselor and within minutes of them talking to my son later that day, he crumpled and tearfully admitted what he had done.

Due to the severity of the bullying, the Police were brought in and before charges were laid, he was expelled from school.

My son was very fortunate to have been challenged and to his credit, his tears were genuine, as the reality of what he had done had sunk in.

 

My tears were only ever crocodile ones, always at the ready to manipulate a situation.

My years of bullying began when one evening I decided to skip my homework so the next day when I was asked to produce it, I burst into tears and blubbered how an older boy had thrown my homework out the school bus window, while telling me I would get a hiding if I told on him.

The Teacher was outraged and hauled the boy out of his class, and marched him into ours, demanding he apologized to me.

He refused and tried to tell how I was lying but it fell on deaf ears. The Teacher then sent him to the Principal.

 

This incident started me on the road to becoming a bully; a gullible teacher believing me without checking facts and as I had always sat behind the driver, a quick check with him would have seen my story fall apart.

 

By the time I left High School I was an accomplished bully, I was well skilled in choosing the most gullible to manipulate; they were my lackeys ready to spread whatever I told them.

Isolating my victims with lies and innuendo was how I would gain the control.

There is a misconception that victims of bullies are weak, none of mine were.

Throughout the years I manipulated the firing of co-workers, destroyed marriages, destroyed my own brother’s marriage by telling him a story how his wife had come on to me, the list goes on for miles.

Shortly after my son was expelled, we moved to another State as our town was not forgiving of what my son had done.

It’s been eight years since my life changed for the better but I will live with the shame of my actions and that of my son’s for the rest of my life.

Keep exposing bullies Sandra, you may save a life or lives.

R.M.

 

 

Time for a laugh

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don't be an ass

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parking spot

perks of being over 50

sleep time

spider

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little bags

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old lady fell

 

poem about growing older

 

banjo

 

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when your children think of you

 

wisdom & integrity

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happiness

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todays forecast

 

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

There is a growing attraction between the husband of a friend of mine and me.
I know he is as miserable as I am and as our children have all left home it won’t be that messy if we get together.
Do you think I should make the first approach?

 

Aunty S responds

No.
Over and out.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

 

Dear Aunty S

My wife refuses to learn to drive. I have always known this but thought she would eventually give in.
I told her she was being childish and now she is distant towards me.
I don’t know whether she is depressed or just giving me the cold shoulder hoping I will back down which I won’t.

 

Aunty S responds

You are bullying your wife you silly boy; if you want to save your marriage you better back down fast and grovel big time.
She told you she was never going to drive so what really is the big deal? Or are you a manipulative control freak?
She is either sad, angry, shocked, confused or all of the above as she clearly has not seen this side of you before.
Think about what I’ve written.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

My daughter used to be a healthy weight but after a few unfortunate relationships and a few kids she has taken to living on coffee, coke, chocolate and potato crisps to control her weight so her health has crashed.
She gets the shakes, muscle spasms and head aches and can’t function at work and recently lost her job after her long suffering employer couldn’t cope with her ‘illness’ any longer.
Recently she sent the kids to live with their respective fathers because she can’t cope with them.
I am fed up with all the Doctors she has seen because not one of them has asked about her diet.
She is self-destructing before my eyes and won’t listen to me so how can I help her?

 

Aunty S responds

Your daughter is unwell and needs professional help but until she comes clean with her Doctor, she won’t be referred to the correct Specialist.
I have sent you an email with more detail.
We will sort this out my dear and remember I am only a click away.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

 

Dear Aunty S

My daughter in law feeds one of her children certain foods even though she knows they trigger an asthma attack.
I believe she does it to bring attention to herself as she dramatically rushes the child to the Hospital –phoning a neighbor to mind the other children, organizing friends to go to the Hospital to support her and then posts it on Facebook so as to gain sympathy.
I have told her what she is doing is dangerous but she always responds with, “my children, my business.”

She explains it away to my son by saying that having an asthma attack and a bit of time on the ventilator is worth it as their child loves these foods and feels upset when excluded from them all the time.
He has told her over and over again to stop but she won’t.
Much to my horror the Hospital has never asked why the attacks are happening even though it is documented that certain foods trigger them.
What can I do to help my grandchild?

 

Aunty S responds 

It is time for your son to put his big boy pants on and stand up to her but first he must make an appointment with the Family Doctor to give him the heads up as to what is going on.
There is no time to waste my dear.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

For over thirty years I have been married to a sarcastic, moody man and lately his moods are becoming worse.                                    He told me yesterday he wants out.
I have always wanted out but stayed out of habit and now at my age I won’t be able to afford to pay the rent on just a single pension.
I am wondering if he has the start of Alzheimer’s; a friend says this was the first sign of dementia in her father.
My son wants me to go and live on his farm as he has a spare house, which he will furnish for me. He says all I need to bring is my clothes. The problem is how do I leave my husband if he has dementia?

 

Aunty S responds

As his behavior isn’t really out of character I doubt very much he has dementia.
If you want to stay then stay but it does sound like your husband is going to leave so maybe you should take up your son’s kind offer.
You are very fortunate my dear to have such a fine son.

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Ask Aunty S

askauntys2

Dear Aunty S

A husband of a friend of mine is having an affair and everybody knows except her. It has been going on for over a year.

They have young children so I have been hesitant in telling her because she loves him so much.

She asked me recently whether I thought he was having an affair because he was away a lot in the evenings and weekends.

I lied and said she had nothing to worry about and now I feel sick that I lied.

She is becoming more depressed and upset as each day goes by.

I truly thought he would stop the affair after a few months and everything would go back to normal so I was genuinely shocked when I realized everybody knows.

He is actually a really nice man who I believe loves his wife but loves his girlfriend more.

Should I tell her?

 

Aunty S responds

You cannot be a passive bystander in this situation so if I was in your position and trust me I have been, I would arrange to meet the husband and would tell him firmly that I and the town know about the affair and it’s only a matter of time before his wife finds out and it would be in his best interests to tell her today or else I would be visiting tomorrow to inform his wife, in front of him, the truth.

His choice!

He will probably have a panic attack when he finds out everybody knows so I am pretty sure he will play ball.

Should he decide to end the affair he still must tell his wife what has been going on because in a town your size she will find out eventually.

Your friend will be devastated to learn of her husband’s infidelity and will need a load of support.

Be a kind friend and do the right thing my dear.

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